thinking

I thought
I was thoughtful


Full of emotions
Passions









You were a Jerk













This one's a tear jerker

Wasting Time

64.5 hours without sleep up until 530 a.m yesterday
a lot of it in the courtyard studying for a test that did not require that much time
2 days without the gym= 2 days with no other work than the superfluous studying
3 loads of laundry later my floor is covered
my sink is clogged- well, draining Veeeeeerrrry slowly
there must have been a tornedo- at least today I realized that I CAN bike with an umbrella

should I clean or sleep?

In my TeePee!!!!

Appreciation

I wonder how many people really appreciate what this is- what they see.
I know that maybe you enjoy it. You maybe even say you love it; you think you need it- couldn't live without it.

But do you know why you feel the way you do?
Because of what it does for you.
Every sensation you experience, every pleasure you derive
The support, the peace of mind, the strength and comfort and security-
The power to overcome the overwhelming minutae of every day-

Will you just stare ahead blankly with glazed over eyes?
Too hard to read. Half a smile on your lips that speak half sentences only half of the time
In broken sentence, but that doesn't make it O.K.
(like everyone else)

Probably
We'll See

They don't even have that kind here anymore

sorry

for what?
what the fuck?

pictures

Wishlist: Self-Reflexivity

"If you give, you begin to give
You get the world, you get the world.
If you give, you begin to live."-DMB

Wishlist: Self-Reflexivity

I only wanted to give all that I had so that once
I would be enough-
But Me does not equal We,
and time mocks me as it continues as my
infinity of inadequacy
Yet I wanted to give,
So,

When I continue to give-to you
and to him, her and to you and then also to You
I forget to live- Like I have forgotten in the past.
As I have forgotten my past.

Denying my Self,
Lying to myself-
As I was trying to be someone else
for you, and You, and the rest of Them too.

So you all keep on taking
Pieces of me- chipping away
as I am slipping away.
While I am blindly forsaking my needs- instead I continue making
an identity from the image reflected back from your vacant gestures.

Do you see the Irony?
You All have all of Me-
So I should remain an empty vessel, lonely, an identity formed-
of the Nothing which is everything that has been reciprocated
for what I give--
for what I live.

"You might die trying.
Oh, you might die trying.
Yeah, you might die trying."-DMB

Out of the Darkness Comes Light...

"
We're not sentimental we're just oil filled machines trying not to say the things we mean- you've got to show us a little love...

There’s not a moment to lose in the game
Don’t let the troubles in your head
Steal too much time you’ll soon be dead
So play...

Please keep your hands down
And stop raising your voice
It's hardly what I'd be doing if you gave me a choice
It's a simple suggestion can you give me sometime
So just say yes or no
Why can't you shoulder the blame
Coz both my shoulders are heavy
From the weight of us both
You're a big boy now so let's not talk about growth
You've not heard a single word I have said...

Please take it easy it can't all be my fault
I haven't made half the mistakes
That you've listed so far
Oh baby let me explain something
It's all down to drugs
At least I remember taking them and not a lot else
It seems I've stepped over lines
You've drawn again and again
But if the ecstacy's in the wit is definitely out
Dr. Jekyll is wrestling Hyde for my pride...

But everyday should be a good day to die
Oh all fall down
It won’t be too long now
Every fire dies
I find it hard to explain how I got here
I think I can I think I can
Then again I will falter
Dream little darling dream...

My First Post

Hi,
So, I decided I would try the blog thing so I wouldn't have to manage a million e-mail accounts, and I'd be able to keep everyone up to date on my life. But I'm tired now and I'm going to sleep...so I'll start tomorrow- gn